All my days
I live with my disgrace
I? m afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear
See I was born
Like a half way neutered pet
I don? t have a matching set
It? s a part of me
That just aint there
Please, don? t stare
Well I? m a gambling man with out two dice
I? m like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But I? m half a man
Yeah, I? m half a man
Wanna die
end it all, just call it quits
I can? t find a cup that fits
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
When I hear? ball one?
Oh, my God
How could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel
And the one that? s there must feel so sad
He? s a lonely man
Well I? m a marathon runner with just one leg
I? m a fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi
Do I have to beg?
I? m half a man
Well I? m a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
And I? m a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
And I? m a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
I? m just half a man
Yeah, I? m half a man