{*a parody of Ludacris' song "Area Codes"*}
[Chorus]
I got probed! I got probed...
aboard a UFO (U-F) UFO (Oh!)
Probed, proohhhhbed..
aboard a UFO (U-F) UFO (Oh!)
[Verse One: Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]
Now you thought it was just on TV, and on the big screen
It's worldwide, biggest problem that I've ever seen
It's the intergalactic dog catcher
Bug eyed extra-terrestrial master with a diminutive stature
+Men in Black+, cut up cows
I got crop circles formin out behind my house
9:01, Thursday night was a real hoot
I was dragged out of bed like a dead prostitute
I was brought aboard ship, looked like a Ford truck
Stripped down to my drawers, what a run of poor luck
Big gray heads, big black eyes
"Uh, what's goin on? What's up guys?"
They came at me with a mallet and a big syringe
And a pointy thing that would make a dentist cringe
Metal prongs, big round gears
They just jammed the thing into my ears
[Chorus]
[Verse Two: Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]
Now every night they pick me up again
Just to do a Roto Rooter on my rear end, leavin me in pain again
I'm all scarred up, I'm missin teeth
9-1-1 thinks I'm a freak
They shove 'em up my nose, they shove 'em in my butt
And this corkscrew device gets shoved in my belly button
3 days straight, 2 long probes
Shoved in places nothin should go
They drill holes in my head, and later on
I always wake up back in my bed, and they're gone
Why do they always pick on people from the South
What do they learn by shoving a big plunger in my mouth
Man, after a night of being prodded and poked
I just feel like a guy who had a massive stroke
I got alien troubles out back
And I don't mean the type that we can send back
[Interlude]
Is it cause they like my trailer park (trailer park)
Is it cause they like my beauty marks (beauty marks)
Is it cause they like my handsome face (handsome face)
Is it cause they like the way I taste (way I taste)
Wherever I go, they find me and they just won't let me be
They want me to pee, don't rush me just relax and it'll flow free
Whenever I call, the Enquirer to my house so they can see
You know that they all, stop comin so nobody will believe me
[Chorus]
[Outro]
Hey, what's that big light in the sky?
Oh, come on - not again, guys
I just got my nose working again
Well at least let me bring a camera this time
C'mon guys, please
J-just leave me alone for a while