Bustelo, Marlboro, banana by the bunch
A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good
And firewood, look, it's Santa Claus
Hold your applause, oh hi
Oh hi after seven months? Sorry
This boy could use some Stoli
Oh, holy night, struck gold at MIT
They expelled me for my theory of actual reality
Which I'll soon impart to the couch potatoes
At New York University
Still haven't left the house?
I was waiting for you, don't you know?
Well, tonight's the night
Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show, no flow
Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve
Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe
A new member of the Alphabet City
Avant Garde, Angel Dumott Schunard
Today 4 u, tomorrow for me
Today 4 u, tomorrow for me
And you should hear her beat
You earned this on the street?
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A
When a lady in a limousine drove my way
She said, "Darling, be a dear, haven't slept in a year
I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear"
"This Akita Evita just won't shut up
I believe if you play nonstop that pup
Will breathe its very last high strung breath
I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death"
Today 4 u, tomorrow for me
Today 4 u, tomorrow for me
We agreed on a fee, a thousand dollar guarantee
Tax free and a bonus if I trim her tree
Now who could foretell that it would go so well?
But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell
After an hour, Evita in all her glory
On the window ledge of that 23rd story
Like Thelma and Louise did when they got the blues
Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews
Today 4 u, tomorrow for me
Today 4 u, tomorrow for me
Back on the street where I met my sweet
Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete
The nurse took him home for some Mercurochrome
And I dressed his wound and got him back on his feet, sing it
Today 4 u, tomorrow for me
Today 4 u, tomorrow for me
I said, today 4 u, tomorrow for me
Today 4 u, tomorrow for me