The doors of the church were dimly lit
No gate would budge a needle's width
But i would be a hapless fool
Had i not brought some useful tool
Been to the smithey at the wharf
Bought lockpicks from a jewish dwarf
My morals, they are like changing friends
They are the means to my own ends
East end apse
A codex from some holy saint
Laid in a box, adorned so quaint
Like popish dregs would cherish it
My fence he wouldn't care one bit
In public houses drenched in ale
On hills or deep down in the dale
For years to come would they discuss
The theft of a scroll from the east end apse
The theft of a scroll from the east end apse (common!)
That's where i go and steal the scroll
And make the congregation cry
Had i to choose between the two
My loathing for religious stew
Or pleasure stealing christian things
My impulse gives what pleasure brings
No dogma puts my mind on a leash
Or blackmails me for their prestige
Condemns me for my petty crimes
While they've been thieving through all times
East end apse
As fireworks and bells interred the worn-out year
I sneaked into the sexton's 'cause he wasn't there
And found in the absence of the light of day
The interconnecting passageway
Unlocked sev'ral doors to the heart of the matter
With noise outside things could not have been better
The reliquary lock my flower to pick
I knew what to do and i did it quick
I made my way back into the house
And left no traces, quiet as a mouse
And i can't wait hearing those churchy chaps
Noticed something's missing from the east end apse!
In public houses drenched in ale
On hills or deep down in the dale
For years to come would they discuss
The theft of a scroll from the east end apse