I finish work late on a Friday
When my phone vibrates with a text from my mate
He’s like “Safe, it’s the weekend, what you up to?”
I replied “Not much”, “Well there’s a night that you should come to”
It’s a new thing that I’ve only just discovered
Where everybody goes to have fun with one another
And if you’ve got a friend who wants to come then you should bring one
I asked what kind of party is it and he said “A Swing one”
I was like “What?” – I just could not believe it
When I found out the secret life that he was leading
I thought I knew this guy well, so it was quite shocking
To find out now that he’s into wife swapping
He said “Look here, don’t knock it til you’ve tried it
Come and see it for yourself and be open minded”
My first reaction was to say “Hell no!”
Then I thought “Ah, I might as well give it a go”
Coz everybody’s welcome at the Swinger’s Party
You can bring a friend to the Swinger’s Party
Or make new ones at the Swinger’s Party
We just wanna have fun at the Swinger’s Party
It’s all love here at the Swinger’s Party
You can get dressed up at the Swinger’s Party
Or get messed up at the Swinger’s Party
We just wanna have fun at the Swinger’s Party
I go home to have a quick shower and change
That’s when I realise what kind of commitment I’ve made
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve been to some wild parties
But never one with a big bowl full of car keys
My mind starts racing, and my imagination
Starts conjuring up images of sordid situations
Middle aged ladies dressed in dominatrix clothes
Next to overweight men rocking baby grows
I try to shake the image out of my head
And think “What should I wear to this kind of event?”
Coz I don’t wanna come across all rude and dismissive
But I also wanna make it clear that I’m off limits
Eventually I settle on something that seems fitting
A parker jacket, wooly hat, scarf and some mittens
I step outside and close the door to my flat
Take a deep breath because now there’s no going back
I follow the directions that my mate provided
But when I arrive I find something quite surprising
Coz I’d expected some remote location
Like a homemade dungeon in someone’s basement
But it was a nightclub, illuminated
By bright lights with bass pulsating through the pavement
I thought “Damn, these Swinger types are brazen”
But what I saw inside was even more amazing
Normal looking people dancing together
In pinstripes and feathers – not fishnets and leather
Instead of perverts and ropey old slappers
It was full of dapper looking chaps and flappers
I spot the friend who invited me along
Who sees my expression, and asks me the question
“Is this what you expected?” and I say “Hardly”
“What did you think it would be like?” I replied “Don’t ask me”