You've just moved into your student house
You're from the school of hard knocks, you're in uni now
But the first room you see looks awful and it stinks
And the state of the whole place forces you to think:
I was meant to move into my student house
But the last tenant hasn't started moving out
And the guy who takes my rent didn't force him to be swift
Cause he's not a landlord, he's a Lord of the frigging Sith
He's in it for the dough, he's got a dark side because of it
If I call, he won't give a fuck how bad the problem is
Whenever we talked, he was ever so withdrawn
Apart from when he wanted to know how fast I'd deposit
The cash, that's two month's rent, into his account
I have, but has the goon done anything about
The guy that still sees this as a place to live
When he's squatting like a woman does, taking the piss?
No. I've spent my life taking similar answers
So I'm asking: do I have to pay to live with this bastard?
Yes, cause it's the middle of the night, so he can't leave
Now, I could throw a tantrum, or I could throw a party
Life has been so crazy, but I've got a good feeling
So I wanna share it, but I'm new to this
I wanna fill my cup, lift it up to the ceiling
I don't really care who I do it with
So, now you're on Facebook, creating your event page
Nearly changed your mind because you ain't got very many mates
Lose the doubts because it never really matters
"It's a student house, so there will definitely be crashers"
That's what you tell yourself. Oh, you're such a wise kid
You're throwing your first party and the whole world's invited
You don't want thieves, you're only ready to meet the minglers
Cause people take advantage and you've never been to Wimbledon
You set the date and make your event public
Now you've got two weeks to make sure there's enough drink
And when you come back from picking up a few Stellas
The house really won't be big enough for two Tennents. Get it?
But that's enough beer humour
Tomorrow can't come any sooner
The minute you wake up, it's over
Like cricket for matey on the sofa
I hope they all come through for me
Even if they don't reply
I don't do this sort of thing usually
But I wanna know what it's like
I'll study hard if I'm welcome
Because it doesn't happen overnight
When I hit the parties, I'll tell them
"Show me yours and I'll show you mine"