My mama gave me up when I was four years old
She didn't destroy my body but she killed my soul
Now it cold cause Im slipping in my back seat
I understand the spirits willing but my flesh is weak (let me speak)
Never had a chance to dream 10 years old and finding love in dirty magazines
Ms December remember I bought you twice
Now I'm 30 plus and I'm still paying the price
Had a sister that I barely knew
Kind of got separated by the age of two
Same mama different daddy
.......
Saw my sisters daddy beat her naked
Taking serious the Demonds in a mans mind
The same man with rape charges now he's doing time
Crack followed and like daddy prison 13 years
Haven't seen her cause she's traded tears for fears
Shout shout let it all out
these are the things I can do without
So come on (come on)
Now I'm talking to you so come on
Sex was how I made i through
I wasn't the one to teach with love but said this one ought to do
See where I'm from the call you gay say you ain't a man
Show em you aint no punk get all the girls you can
This simple plan even hunts me even now today
Back to 17 and got a baby on the way
Well dear God all I see is failure in my eyes
If your listening and remember I apologize
I was raise all in a church
Made mistakes and heard the Lords cold .....
after service on the parking lot getting high
wanting to be accepted so bad i was willing to die
Even thrived to tell the pastor but he couldn't see
Years of low self-esteem and Insecurity
Church taught me how to stop and speak in tongues
Preacher teach me how to live when the tongue is done
CHORUS + ( repeat soul survivor, soul survivor until next verse)
Jesus please I'm on my knees can't you hear my crying
You said to put it in your hands and lord I'm really trying
You wasn't lying when you said you reap what you sow
Like that night mama died It's hard to let it go
You adopted me cared for me changed my name
But I cursed at you lied you and left you pain
It's now strange I can still see it in my head
To know how it was lying dead in that bed
If your listening to this record day or night
If you mama is still living treat your mama right
Don't be like me and let that moment slip away
And be careful because you can't take back what you say
To my real mama if your listening I'm letting it go
To my father I forgive you cause you didn't know
That the pain was preparation for my destiny
And one more thing though let my son be a better man than me