She wakes me up when I'm in slumber deep
To ask me if I really am asleep
Why do I stand for it?
I love her, that's why!
She calls the doctor when I need some bread
And calls the banker when I'm sick in bed
Why do I stand for it?
I love her, that's why!
Life with her is unpredictable
But I'm a guy who knows no fear
Her jibber-jabbering may puzzle you and me
But to her it's perfectly clear
She'll make a date with me then make me wait
And then she'll bawl me out for being late
Why do I stand for it?
Oh, I love her, that's why!
He serenades me with that gravel voice
I have to listen cuz I have no choice
Why do I stand for it?
I love him, that's why!
He'll keep repeating all his corny jokes
And making snide remarks about my folks
Why do I stand for it?
I love him, that's why!
Life with him is so lugubrious
Whatever that may mean, I'm sure
He calls me sweetie pie but never tells me why
Now you see what I must endure
He'll start a quarrel over silly things
Like wrecking cars or losing diamond rings
Why do I stand for it?
I love him, that's why!