Yeah, you're all too ugly tonight
Why, there ain't a decent one in sight
You won't win no ribbon, you can't win no prize
You're all too ugly tonight
You're all as ugly you can't believe
Go ahead, get up off your old rusty knees
The answer is no, I gotta better place to go
You're all too ugly tonight
So mama put on another pot of coffee
Put those little babies to bed
You know the crazies and the freaks
You won't believe what's on the streets
I'm coming on home to you instead
'Cause they're all too ugly tonight
Why, there ain't a decent one in sight
You can't win no ribbon, no way to win no prize
You're all too ugly tonight
So put on another pot of coffee
Put those precious babies to bed
Why the crazies and the freaks
Girl, you won't believe what's on the streets
I'ma coming on home mama to you instead
'Cause they're all as ugly as sin
Why even Dracula wouldn't be caught with one of them
Outstanding in the field of things that are unreal
It's all too ugly tonight, it's all too ugly tonight