Rule number one, if she ain't happy
You ain't happy
And if she ain't happy long enough
You're gonna be unhappy with half your stuff
Early on in our marriage
When we'd be in the same room for a half hour
And she wouldn't say a word to me
I would make the mistake of looking at her and go, "What's wrong?"
Hoping it was something other than me
Now I have learned
If we're in the same room for a half hour
And she doesn't say a word to me, it's me
Now I just go up to her and go, "Baby I realize I have done or said Something stupid and insensitive and while I don't yet know
What it is, I would like a chance to go up to my room
And think about it for a little while"
This game's been played for centuries
Ever since Adam fell for Eve
The sooner you'll learn, the better off you'll be
Just like me, totally committed
I've learned early on in our relationship
That women are complicated creatures
Once I had accepted that
It made a lot of things easier for me
But I have found that
Because women are complicated
They like to think men are complicated too
You ever hear a group of women talking to each other
"Ooo, I wish I knew, what he was really thinking"
Ladies I will tell you, what we're really thinking
We're really thinking, I'd like a beer and I'd like to see something naked
That's all we're thinking
You go to a nursing home and see a ninety year old man
Going down the hall on a walker
That's what he's thinking
I'd like a beer and I'd like to see something naked
This game's been played for centuries
Ooh, not that, not that, not that
The sooner you'll learn, the better off you'll be
Just like me, totally committed
And I do believe women understand men
Better than men understand women, don't you?
Think about that, how often do you see a man stomp out of a room
Crying and have a woman goin', "What, what'd I say? Come back"
And I do think men would take advice about relationships
But we're not gonna sit down and read magazines about it
You got to feed it to us in a way we're we'd accept it
Sneak it into the play by play of a baseball game
And there's strike three Greg Maddux really looking good today
Speaking of looking good fellas from time to time
You woman needs to be reminded that she's still looking good to you
Hey baby, have I told you lately, you are as pretty as Greg Maddux?
This game's been played for centuries
Ever since Adam fell for Eve
The sooner you'll learn, the better off you'll be
Just like me
I keep telling you I'm totally committed
Now repeat after me, totally committed
Now baby what I meant to say is
When you're naked you are prettier than Greg Maddux
You really are
I'm going up to my room