Oh, to have a pristine claw
These hands are old and sore
The knuckles, they ache
The bones they do break
Oh, to have a youthful frown
Bleed on the surgeon's gown
Put plastic in me
I'm perfect you see
Don't look older than 43
But really I'm 70
Now run young man
And get my pills from the pharmacy
Rearrange my face for a hefty fee
I can't change the inside of me
I'm a vampire of the 21st century
Oh, to have a pristine claw
Marry the doctor when I'm poor
A face I can love
A cut that's above
If the aliens landed here
They'd see why we're so weird
We're destined to die
We're destined to die
Don't look older than 43
But really I'm 70
Now run young man
And get my pills from the pharmacy
Rearrange my face for a hefty fee
I can't change the inside of me
I'm a vampire of the 21st century
That's me, that's me, that's me, that's me
That's me, that's me, that's me, that's me
That's me, that's me, that's me, that's me