Baby, we've been together
For a long, long time
You get home from work,
Then we just turn out the lights
Lately, I've been dreaming
You in leather, me in lace
Let's put up the teddy bears
And get out the whips and chains
Give me weed instead of roses
Bring me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot,
You're looking better all the time
I don't need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, Heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
And let's see where it goes
Honey, you don't have to worry
There ain't no one else but me
Lately, we have fallen
Under the same routine
I ain't getting any younger
Oh, buddy, you don't seem to care
Let's trade in the boxers
For some sexy underwear
Give me weed instead of roses
Bring me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot,
You're looking better all the time
I don't need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, Heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
And let's see where it goes
Let's send the kids to Grandma
Call in sick to work
Put on some heavy metal
Rip the phone off of the hook
Go call your no-good brother
We both know what he's been growing
I'll be waiting with the whipped cream
And baby, let's get going
Give me weed instead of roses
Give me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot,
You're looking better all the time
I don't need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, Heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
And let's see where it goes
You pull out the Polaroid
And I'll strike a couple poses
Let's get a little wild
Bring me weed instead of roses