There once was a poodle thought he was a cowboy
He lived in a cage the size of his thumb
Though his white horse was a box of toothpicks
He galloped around 'til he was hit by a car
Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird
Just to remind myself I'll never fly
Sometimes I burn my arms with a cigarette
Just to pretend I won't scream when I die
If my life was as long as the moon's
I'd still be jealous of the sun
If my life lasted only one day
I'd still be drunk by noon
Yes I'd still be drunk by noon
Sometimes I hope to come down with cancer
At least then I'd get to stay in bed and watch TV all day
And on my death bed I'll get all the answers
Even if all my questions are taken away
If my life was as long as the moon's
I'd still be jealous of the sun
If my life lasted only one day
I'd still be drunk by noon
I'd still be drunk by noon