My nigga, do you have a gas can?
(The fuck I'm gonna do with a gas can, nah, nigga what?)
It's just been a long ass day, man
All I need is a gas can
(No...Try down across the street, I think they may keep one, I dunno
Fuck what you doing, man?
Knocking on the door extra hard and shit like you just stressed out or something)
My nigga, I don't even know where to begin, dog
(What happened, man?)
Look, I woke up on it feeling fucked up
What else is new? Like I be like, "To hell with you"
To tell the truth, I ain't been to church in like 3 or 4 years
Not months, have mercy on my soul
I threw on the wife-beater put a fitted on my skull
Took a long ass piss, grabbed my shades, and hit the door
I had half a blunt left from last night
I lit that bitch up like a lightbulb and got right
Started to orchestrate my day like a Maestro
I should hit the lab, I got verses like the bible
I heard hip hop need revival
It's been in camouflage like the mascot for Geico
In that bullshit, I took another pull quick
My mind flooded like a fucking swimming pool is
Went back in the house, raided my mom's refrigerator
But everybody's on a diet, and my stomach ain't quiet
I said, "Fuck it."
Hit the shower like a jackpot
The weed got my teeth off-white like a crack rock
Toothbrush from the 99 cent store
I got a million dollar smile, it don't make sense though
Throw in my army fatigue shorts and a T that says
"Peace, not war"
Now everybody eyeing me
I don't know if I need an iron is the irony
By the way, I'm at the gas station now
Not to get gas, just another black & mild
It's half a tank, gonna have to last until Monday
And it's Tuesday, the bitches still want me like a bouquet
Hit my nigga Agent, he wanted to roll up two Ls like Cool Jay
I'm like, "Alright, cool, Jay"
But I gotta be at work by 3
It's midday, I can't go in smelling like weed
He said, "Okay."
Stop by the cheap tobacco, two swishers for a dollar
When he meet me, we feeling to get high, like a greeting
He told me, "Drop five"
I said, "I got you next time"
Long story short, I bumped my head on cloud nine
I'm chilly chill even when it's hot outside
Rode to the studio rather blasted
I spit like a dragon and leave a fan flabbergasted
That's where my gas and my check engine light clicked on at the same exact time
My signal right
That ain't right
I got shit to do today
Cause any day you could be attending my eulogy
Got to the studio when everybody left
I saw a note that read
"We went to go work on Detox with Weezy F"
Yeah, you laughing, that shit wasn't funny, man
(It was funny)
A day in the life
Of Mister soul brother number deuce
(Any night)
I'm thinking if you only knew
Who could fuck with it middle fingers up to your whole crew
Tell 'em the regular nigga said it
A day in the life
Of Mister soul brother number deuce
(Any night)
I'm thinking if you only knew
Who could fuck with it middle fingers up to your whole crew
Now it's 2:58 and I'm running late for work
Running mean stuck in traffic cause the Home Depot is feeling jerk
I been in the same position before
Manager said it better be my last time but it won't
I clocked in around 3:10 and I'm wishing I didn't
Cause UPS just brought in this big ass shipment
And for those that didn't know, I work at a record store
And I make hot records
Finish the inventory then I log on Myspace
I had one download about 16 plays
5 friend requests from suck MCs making a name
I signed out and had to question my aim
(You weak, nigga)
This old-timer walked in
(That's all)
And we got to talking about Eric being rock him on a perm and
Osama Bin Laden Obama in office
And he looked me in the face and I'm destined for fame
Told him I do music
He like, "Whatever you do, do it, and don't blink
The moment you close your eyes, you'll lose it"
Words were wise, that was some great advice that I took like I stole it
Then my head sort of swollen
I guessing that's why I shits on them like a cleansed colon
Told the rest of the shoppers we feeling to be closing
I locked up like Akon and hit the street
It's 8 pm, and I ain't have shit to eat
All day, KFC, snackers a dollar each
BBQ and nacho cheese
I bought 4, ate 3, gave one to Top Dog
I would have had one for Punch but he moved like a sloth
I'm back at the studio now if I lost ya
And everything's straight, you can thank great posture
Hit my lil momma up cause I'm trying to cut
But she on the rag and I don't mean a bandanna
She told me come through, she gave me head like Rihanna
And I deserve a standing ovation for my swagger
Chuck the deuce, headed for the car to finish off the night right
But it wouldn't start
Laugh it up, nigga, laugh it up
Shit ain't funny, man
(Gas, nigga, you gotta put 5 not 3 in)
I ain't got 5 dollars to put in!
(That'll get you one gallon, nigga
Time to save that extra dollar from that meal
For the McDonalds menu so you ain't gotta cut all the time, nigga
You gotta put the whole 5 in it
I know you're on a budget, but damn)