They Call Me Butthouse Man
'cause That's My Name
I'm a Butt Connoisseur and I Have no Shame
I Rate 'em On Size and Shape and Such
But the Final Test Is the Test of Touch
I'm a True Blue Pro no Average Joe
I Keep My Eyes Open Everywhere I Go
So If You're Talkin' 'bout Chicks and What They Got Down Below
Just Ask 'ole House 'cause I'm in the Know
Chorus
Butt-butt Funkin'
Butt-butt Funkin'
When Butts Are Headed in My Direction
I Slip Around Back For a Closer Inspection
I Size Them All Up With no Sign of Detection
And I Swoop On in and I Make a Selection
Some Big Some Small Some Ain't Quite Round
Some As Big As Me Nearly Pound For Pound
Some Smooth As Silk With no Sign of Wear
And Some Got Pimples and Some Got Hair
Chorus
Shout It Out, Sing About I Just Can't Live Without
Wigglin' Jigglin' Butts in My Living Room
Long Pants and Short Pants
They're Best When in no Pants
I'm in the Mood For a Stinky String Romance
Fe Fi Fo Fum
Tell Me Where Do You Come From?
There's Nothing So Fine and Nothing So Fair
As a Hot Sticky Thing With a Tight Derriere
Let Me Tell You 'bout My Trip to the South of France
The Women Down There They Never Wear Pants
By Hook By Crook Or Happenstance
I'll Be Headed Back Just Give Me Half a Chance
When I'm Lying On the Beach I Couldn't Help But Stare
At All the Merchandise the Girls Had Laid Bare
Lying On My Front So no One Could See
Those Bare Bottom Bitches Put a Boner On Me