There's 8 million stories in every city
And Americans love to watch it on TV
There's gays, lesbians, stripper nymphos
Teenage prostitutes, husbands gone psycho
The haters hate it 'cause it's too hot for TV
But America rules, nasty as we wanna be
Always #1 across the land
So don't hate Jerry 'cause he's the man!
With more fight time than HBO
And even Don King should promote talk shows
It't the best thing in years to hit the TV
'Cause America's rowdy-rowdy like Master P
Players everywhere love a good talk show
'Cause the hoochies get naked like a 2 Live show
So always represent the American way:
Freedom of speech and always gettin' paid!
Chorus:
(All the time, station to station)
(Here to here, across the nation)
(Got to have a celebration)
Verse 2: Brother Marquis
The ghetto got me caught up in some talk show shhhhh
Now I'm on TV to find that my girl was a trick
She did my main man, plus my own band
I had to take a stand and beat the trick bad
Two sisters, that were doin' the two brothers
Now they fight 'cause they was doin' each other
The girl posin' nude used to be a dude
Outcasted from the family, now they startin' a feud
The man cheatin' on his wife got caught last night
'Cause the girl he was kissin' was a transvestite
Got caught on TV where it's too late to fight
Now the whole world knows about his secret life
50-year-old mom, dressed him like a hoochie
The hoodrat pulls a gat on the groupie
Too hot for TV, too much for the movies
Some lady smacked Jerry, say what? Sue me!
Chorus
Bridge:
(Miami! Atlanta G.A.! Chicago! And L.A.!
Houston! And New York City! And don't forget - Cincinnatti!)
Verse 3
No matter how you feel, the stories are real
Showin' the world how Americans feel
With home-grown topics and a final thought
They even got hoochies without their bras
Of all the talk shows he's the best by far ...
{Instrumental where there should be a verse}
So set your VCR's if you got to go,
'Cause you're living in America with the Springershow!
At the sound of the bell that goes Aw Hell!,
Another knock down, another video sale
All problems solved, all matters scarred
A girl got knocked out her chair upside the wall
More hair-pullin', nail-bitin' and people fightin'
I love this show because it's so excitin'
The people believe what they really see
On tabloid TV, even me!