"This stuff
is going to cause chaos
in schools
all over the world
when I get it in the shops."
"Spotty Powder! There it is! Spotty Powder
Spotty Powder! That's it! Fantastic stuff!"
"It looks like sugar"
"It's meant to look like sugar,
And it tastes like sugar.
But it isn't sugar. Oh, dear me, no."
"Then what is it?
What's this stuff meant to do when you eat it?"
"Ah-ha-ha!
You'd never guess that,
not in a million years.
All you have to do is sprinkle it over your cereal
at breakfast-time,
pretending it's sugar.
Then you eat it.
And then, exactly five seconds after that,
you come out
in bright red spots
all over your face and neck."
"What sort of a silly ass
wants spots on his face
at breakfast-time?"
"Let me finish,
So then your mother looks at you across the table and says:
'My poor child. You must have chickenpox.
You can't go to school today.'
So you stay at home.
But by lunch-time, the spots have all disappeared."
"Terrific!" That's just what I want for the day we have exams!"
"That is the ideal time to use it, But you mustn't do it too often
or it'll give the game away."