I got a dog in this fight I got troops on the ground
His name is old Spayed Kooley he's the meanest dog in town
If you think I'm foolin' try bustin' in through the door
He'll tear you a whole brand new one and you won't come back no more
Spayed's a good dog he's really bad
He's the best pal this poor boy ever had
Now Spayed might get suspicious when first you chance to meet
So if you come a callin' you better wipe your feet
Empty out your pockets let him see your hands
Be sure to talk good English so he can understand
Spayed likes mariachis he loves to hear 'em croon
I know he'lI be watchin' if the fiddles ain't in tune
When you come 'round to our table you better play it sweet
Or it's adios muchachos down on Olivera Street
Spayed's a good dog he's really fine
So if you want to be a friend of mine
Pledge allegiance to our flag try to sing on key
And you won't have no problem with my dog Spayed Kooley