I'm trained in a special skill
To not look like I could kill
There's a poster on my bedroom wall
Of Steven Seagal
Krap karate
I haven't studied, I never fight
(Fight fight fight...)
I watch Buffy every night
(Night night night...)
If you pick on me, there won't be a threat
You'll only get
Krap karate...
My hands are lethal weapons
Provided I'm holding a gun.
I'm registered with the Government
As a... taxpayer
(Such krap karate...)
Jackie Chan's got everything on me
Don't move over, Bruce Lee.
I could go at any moment
I'm a great exponent of...
Krap karate
Yee! Ho! Shing!
(Yon; spoken) Hi, I'm Yon. An expert with a knife. A surgeon, a craftsman,
A master of the deadly blades. Silent death...
Yee! Ho! Shing!
(Gatesy; spoken) Hi, I'm Gatesy...
(Yon; spoken)... so silent, you don't hear a thing. It's just... whoosh-- uuuurgh. Well, actually, it would be more like... (pause)... uuuurgh. And at close quarters, I can use my knife silencer.
(Gatesy; spoken) Hi, I'm Gatesy, demolitions expert. Master of C4, A4, and foolscap. And if we get into trouble, I can call for reinforcements - those circular adhesive labels. I can pick off any moving target, util they are... stationery!
Really loud death!
Yee! Ho! Shing!
(Scod; spoken) Hi, I'm Scod, seamstress...
I told you they'd laugh!
(Gatesy; spoken) Hey! He makes the costumes.
(Yon; spoken) It's a very important role!
All three of us, highly trained in the art of...
Krap karate...
Late in the evenin', I'm havin' drinks with my girl
(Café Latte...)
I'm her protector, the great defender of her world
(After the party...)
She grabs my chest, my pecs are burning with desire
And the hairs on my legs...
... this call is being charged at $8.90 an hour...
Jackie Chan's got everything on me,
Don't move over, Bruce Lee
Don't come any closer
Unless you want a dose of...
Krap karate!