Hello Mama, This is Osama.
I'm in a geisha house in Yokohama.
I swear I don't know nothing 'bout no tennis shoe bomb.
I'm a nervous wreak, W's breathin' down my neck.
Goodness me, mercy sakes.
Listen son, what on Earth are you thinking?
I don't know
Tell me something, have you been drinking?
No! I aint been drinking.
This aint no way to behave you're gonna send me to my grave!
Hold it Mama! You know I can't talk long at all,
W just might trace this call. Wait a minute. Uh Oh!
We will not tire. We will not fail.
However long it takes you know we will prevail.
Mercy Sakes
Mama I don't wanna go. To Guantanamo.
So Mama send me some dough. Another hundred million or so.
I think it's worse than dead broke. Down in Guantanamo.
Hello?
Hello Mama, This is "Usama"
I'm in a mud hut in the middle of Uganda.
Now here's the thing I changed my name to "Usama"
Yeah, 'cause W's nipping at my heels.
Now I know how Salman Rushdie feels.
Goodness me, mercy sakes.
Listen son I'm not trying to upset you.
I know
But honey if they do catch you.
Oh for goodness sakes bite your tongue!
You know it's every mother's prayer, you have on clean underwear.
Hold it Mamma! W just wont leave me alone, I think he might of tapped this phone.
Wait a minute. Uh Oh!
We will not tire, we will not fail.
Do not pass GO just go directly to Jail.
Goodness me!
Mama I don't wanna go. To Guantanamo.
So Mama send me some dough. Another hundred million or so.
I think it's worse than dead broke. Down in Guantanamo.
{repeat and fade}