I leave my house early in a hazy blur
Jump into my car now I’m driving on my way to work
I’m nearly there, when I feel a sense of dread
As these thoughts of despair start to creep into my head
Like “Did I lock the front door?”
I must have done of course
But the more I think about it the more I feel unsure
This happens every time and it’s always fine
But it’s sod’s law the time one time I don’t check I’ll get robbed blind
I’m having visions of it flapping in the wind
As burglars remove all my things even the kitchen sink
I feel insane but I turn back anyway
Coz if I don’t I know I’ll fret about it all day
I get home and the door’s locked, obviously
I feel crazy but at least I’ve got some relief
I’m driving back now happy that there’s nothing wrong
When suddenly I’m like “Wait, did I leave the oven on?”
Yeah this one’s for my anxious people
All my tense and my angst-filled people
Who keep calm on the surface, and don’t seem to be nervous
But underneath feel far from peaceful
Yeah this one’s for my anxious people
All my stressed out and angst-filled people
Who don’t answer the phone to numbers that are unknown
In case it’s someone that they don’t want to speak to
I get to work and now I’m running late
Walk in through the door and say “good morning” to my mate
She barely responds and seems a little unfriendly
Which sends me spiralling into a frenzy
Like “What could it be? Is she mad at me?”
I spend the whole morning cracking jokes just to see
Eventually she screams “I just got dumped”
“Oh thank god, I thought it was something I’d done…”
At this point the boss says “Oli you got a minute?”
And my blood runs cold like “Oh god I’m finished”
Is it coz I’m always late? Or all the mistakes I make?
Or maybe all the personal emails I’ve written
I walk into his office with my teeth gritted tight
Tryna keep it light like “You gave me quite a fright
I’m sure that I’m only overreacting though, right?”
As he motions to sit down and then says “Not quite…” (Ah shi…)
Yeah this one’s for my anxious people
All my tense and my angst-filled people
Who pull up next to a cop and get sweaty and hot
whether or not they’ve not done anything illegal
Yeah this one’s for my anxious people
All my stressed out and angst-filled people
My hypochondriacs, who over-react
Who get a mole and assume that it’s lethal
The evening’s no better than the day
I go home and fall into my bed where I lay
I pick up my phone up to text this chick I’ve been chatting to
It’s been going well so I try to arrange a date
I spend 20 minutes crafting the perfect message
Lamenting over what to say before I send it
Eventually I go with “Hey” and a smiley face
Hit send and now I sit back and play the waiting game
Straight away I see two blue ticks
So I know she’s received it and she’s also viewed it
But 5 minutes go by and still no reply
Which is all my mind needs to go into overdrive
So I type “If you’re not on it that’s fine babe
At least have the decency to say it to my face”
She writes back “Uh chill Mr Type A
I couldn’t reply coz I was driving on the highway”
Ah man what I goddamn mess I am
I swear this problem that I’ve got is getting out of hand
Coz now it’s started interfering in my daily life
I wonder what it was that made me into this crazy guy?
But the the truth I always was a morbid kid
Worst case scenario - bet you I’d be drawn to it
When my rents went away and were 10 minutes late
I’d picture the rest of my life spent in an orphanage
Maybe I should get some help and see a shrink
But I’m worried if I tell ‘em all the things that I think
Instead of commending me on my courage and my bravery
They’d probably chuck me in a padded cell and throw away the key
Yeah this one’s for my anxious people
All my tense and my angst-filled people
Who seem confident but get a compliment
And wonder whether it was really deceitful
Yeah this one’s for my anxious people
All my stressed out and angst-filled people
I know you think it’s just you, but trust me this is untrue
How do I know? Coz it happens to me too