Hi, it's just me,
I'm writing you from jail you see,
this is what's the best for me,
I've corrupted our society unjustly,
left to a higher authority,
they see fit to lock me up and throw away the key,
this is what's the best for me,
but please, for me,
don't take away my new color TV,
that would upset me dearly,
and I feel it makes you,
the authority as unjustifying as a low life man like me,
you owe it to me!
after all, without TV what fun would jail be?
not too fun you see,
it's guys like me that commit robbery,
adultery, and other types of felonies,
only to be sent to a penitentiary
and waste all of your tax payer's money,
this what's the best for me - Hotel Pnitentiary.