Verse 1:
Dear Jeff, I sent you ten replay's and you haven't casted 'em
These douches failed to cheese me and I out lashed at 'em
I even sent you two donations but you never replied
I guess there was a problem with PayPal or somethin'
I might have typed in the recipient wrong but dude I tried
anyway fuck it, what's been up man? How's the ladder?
I've been practicing too, I wanna be in masters.
If I ever make it guess what I'll have to do?
Make my APM faster.
I hear you're trapped in platinum too but don't be cryin'
I had a friend who uninstalled 'cos he got stuck and got
sick of tryin'. I know you probably hear this everyday but
you're a bouse. You and I even play the same race the protoss.
I subscribed to you on all my YouTube accounts man.
Even your solo channel too dawg that shit is phat.
Anyways I hope you get this man, I'm sick of tryin'
you know my name it's the coletrain.
(Dido Part)
Verse 2:
Dear Jeff you still ain't replied or PM'ed
I ain't mad I just think it's fucked up and pretty BM.
If you didn't wanna call my name to be in the tournament
you didn't have to. But you coulda given me a shout out like I asked you.
That's not too much to ask. I was laying in my bed and laughing while watching your stream
for 5 hours and you just ignored me. That's pretty shitty man, I've seen all your fucking casts.
And every time I watch 'em you know I have a blast.
I ain't that mad though I just don't like being ignored
Remember when you said you'd give a shout out for giving you donations?
See I'm just like you in a way I can't stand terran either.
Raynor's squad is the definition of OP.
I can relate to what you're saying in your casts so
when I see you upload a video I scream "oh thank god at last."
I got shit else to do so that shit helps when I'm depressed.
I even got a tattoo of LAGTV across my chest.
I even killed my own pylons to see what it unpowers.
Its indescribable getting supply blocked makes me sour.
See everything you cast is real and I respect you 'cos you tell it.
My parents are pissed because I watch it 24/7.
But they don't know you like I know you Jeff no-one does.
They don't know what it was like for gamers like us growing up.
You gotta reply to me man I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely coletrain
P.S.: We should play some 2v2's.
(Dido Part)
Verse 3:
Dear mister,
I insult and bitch out my fans
this'll be the last replay I ever send your ass.
You embarrassed me in front of thousands of people.
I didn't deserve it, you know I shoulda won that game
my army was bigger, my macro was perfect.
So this is my song I'm writing to you
I hope you hear it.
I'm in my room right now pissed as shit and raging.
Hey Jeff I drank a pack of Red Bull
dare me to sleep?
I'm wired enough to take my deathball onto the creep.
I'm winning by fifty supply and the other guys' army is
cheap. I A move my shit and the outcome is bleak.
See if you casted my game you coulda saved my army
from getting surrounded now it's too late I woke the whole house up
and I'm gonna be grounded. All I wanted was for you to cast one of my games
about. I hope you know I unsubscribed all of YouTube accounts. I love you Jeff
we could've collabed together. Think about it, You ruined it now.
I hope you lose your voice and you can't cast about it, and when you dream
I hope you see me and you feel bad about it. I hope you lose your partnership and
lose every one of your fans. See Jeff? Shut up bitch I'm tryin' to game. Hey Jeff that's Ladie Maximus screaming in pain, I proxy hatched her and stuck a nydus in her main. See I ain't like you, 'cos if she gets rushed she won't have a wall up too. Well gotta go I just did my split now.
Oh shit I forgot, gotta send a probe scout.
(Dido Part)