Darlin' take the duct tape from the shelf
Save me from my foolish, drunken self
Character assassinations
From my spirits and libations
It's just the bottle talking now
As the intoxication flows
My sweet inebriation grows
When martinis pass my lips
All my quips get razor tips
It's just the bottle talking now
And I take another swallow
Could it be my leg is hollow?
Shot, with a beer to follow
My charm is cashed
I must be trashed
Darlin' take this cocktail from my sight
Take my keys and make me spend the night
Won't live down the things I say
If I live to see another day
It's just the bottle talking now