If I've told him once I've told him a thousand times
But he refuses to listen
He's the perpetrator of some hideous crimes
He's a hopeless fashion victim
I'm less than impressed with the way that he's dressed
And I'd suggest he should start again
Take a step forward, back to the ironing board
And off with his cardigan!
I've told him once but I'll tell him once more
And maybe now he'll pay attention
The things he's done and the clothes that he wore
Are too horrible to mention
His cupboards are bursting with all of his shirts
And he's never worn at least half of them
From his Sunday best to his Wednesday worst
Off with his cardigan!
Every jacket has a silver lining
Every t-shirt glitters gold
I've told him once but he needs reminding
He just won't be told