Long Shot Hero - The Drunken Acoustic Emo Song Тексты

Its not funny
My life is turning
Into a giant shitstorm everyday
Its like waking up in the morning
And hitting myself in the face
With a brick over and over
And over and over and over and over
And over and over and over and over
Again

Until i go to sleep that night
At which point
I wish someone would strangle me
In my sleep
Strangle me in my sleep
(his sleep, his sleep
His sleep sleep sleepy time
Sleep, his sleep oh yeah, his sleep
His sleep sleep sleepy time
Sleep)

All i do when i'm alone
Is think about a girl
Who ate my heart (oh my god)
All i do when i'm alone
Is think about ways to spear my head off
The rest of my body

And when i'm alone sometimes
I think about what it would be like
To be an animal in the forest
And never have to deal with anything
Like shit like this
(any of the shit, any of the shit shit shit
The shit shit shit)

This is my love song
To a girl
You've made me feel like shit (made me feel like shit)
For the last two and a half years
I hope you're happy...(hope youre happy)
I hope you die (hope you die a slow painful death)
I hope your breasts are chopped off
By a monkey with a cleaver and a helmet
...what happened to your boobs?
(what happened to your boobs?)
Where did they go?
I don't know. (theyre gone)
I'll tell you one thing though (theyre gone)
I wish that it would snow.
What do you think about that, bo?
(i would have to say
The boobies are gone
The boobies are gone)

So in short
Thank you for making my life miserable (miserable)
The last two years (the last two years)
I've wanted to wake up everyday
And hack my own nutsack off with a spork
(self-mutilation, with a spork)

And every night i fall asleep
I wish that i was fucking dead (he wishes he was dead)
I wish i could get images of you out of my head
(out of my fuckin head)
But unfotunatly it makes me
Wanna drive my car into a chestnut tree
And i don't know what the fuck
Is wrong with me
(dont know what the fuck is wrong with me)
What the fuck is wrong with me?
(he's got vaginitis)
Vaginitis
(vagnitis)
Vaginitis
(vagnitis)

This is the song that will never end
It just goes on and on my friend
Some people started singing it,
Not knowing what it was
But they'll continue singing it forever just because...

This is the song that doesn't (you fuckin bitch)
It just goes on and on my friend
Some people started singing it,
Not knowing what it was
But they'll continue singing it forever just because...

This is the song that doesn't end
It just goes on and on my friend
Some people started singing it,
Not knowing what it was
And they'll continue singing it forever just because...

This is the song
(this is the song)
I fuckin hate you
(he fuckin hates you)
Spear through your forehead
(through your forehead)
Shot with a gun
(40 caliber)
Dismembered with a reuben
(something that jeffrey dahlmer would have done)
They dont use them any more, medieval times
(outlawed but you get the point)
Cigarettes put out on your eyes
(camel filters)

(you're getting a little morbid here, chris, but keep it going)

It's not funny (not very humorous)
To make fun of me
(i'm not making fun of you, i'm making fun of...)
My life's a tragedy
(not one of those shakespearean ones)
It's not funny (not humourous)
To make fun of me (--- poking fun at chris)
My life's a tragedy (his life is nothing more than piss)
Won't someone please kill me? (somebody, somebody)
I'm so fucking happy (fuckin happy)
Wont you please kill me?
My life's a tragedy
I'm fuckin happy
My life's a tragedy
Won't someone kill me?
My life's a tragedy
Won't someone kill me?
I'm waiting for someone to hit me in the face

Alright we're going to do the sing along now
(alright what are we singing?)
I'll do the first two verses
Then you guys just follow along
(i'm going to add my own)

Somebody kill me
My life's a tragedy
I'm no longer happy
Somebody kill me

Somebody kill me
My life's a tragedy
I'm no longer happy (whoo-ooh)
So wont someone kill me?

Wont someone kill me?
My life's a tragedy
I'm no longer happy
So wont someone kill me

(everybody!)

Wont someone kill me?
My life's a tragedy
I'm no longer happy
So wont someone kill me?

(in spanish!)

Someone kill me
My life's a tragedy (el tragedy)
I'm no longer happy (los happy)

(aw dude, that was so nasty)

Wont someone kill me?
My life's a tragedy
I'm no longer happy (happy)
So wont someone kill me?

I wish you were dead
I wish you burned up (starting at the head)
In flames...and...stuff
You fuckin bitch

Ahhh!

I wish you were dead
Same chord over and over
Not a problem
Youre right eye looks like you have gonnorhea
(i do)