Champagne in the kitchen not because I bought it but because
I’m crashing an apartment and somebody left it open
So I poured it in a cup, drank it up
I got the devil in my head but angels swimming in my blood
Plus the conscience of my dead dad
Plus my living mama plus my other father who raised me not to be sad
And my brother who says that he worries about me from my songs
And my sister who’s been living like a saint for so damn long
While I’ve been fucking sinning til the lights come up and mics catch us saying shit that we never really meant
Crew wears all black stuff but we all act like we’re so different
But everybody bleeds right?
Everybody’s waiting for the phone to ring
Yeah everybody seems fine
But everybody’s got pieces missing
At minimum I’d like a little medicine to make me feel like everything
Diminishing the venom that been harshing all my mellows I’m continuing to fight against the sentiment that make me want to die
In a world full of uptight gentlemen I wanna find a boy smelling like sweet cinnamon to quote some Tennyson while we take Benadryl to make my head a bit extra light
I feel it, I want it
I need it, I love it
I’m looking for something
To make me feel nothing
I feel it, I want it
I need it, I love it
I’m looking for something
To make me feel nothing
Driving through the bay, pray for understanding
I’ll be silent for a day, wait until I vanish and I’m fighting for a break, vacant kind of passion
Never really can account for all the ways in which I’ve acted
Tried to call my daddy but he’s been gone a decade so I’m drinking like an addict til I’m fucking with a headache
Happiness sporadic so I’m crying on a Wednesday
Not trying to be combative but I’m dealing with some dead weight
Verbalize the hurt inside make me wanna burn alive
My heart was never broken it was circumcised