Ladies I'd like to talk to you for just about two minutes.
Now you can turn me off if you want to but what I've got
to say is for your benefit and no-one else. Now we heard what
Big Moe had to say to the brothers but I'm goin' to tell you
straight up that fellas these days ain't no good.
Stool pigeon, stool pigeon
What you mean stool pigeon. You see that's what I mean,
listen stick around girls
don't be no clown, and please pick up on what I put down.
If he drives you to the beach
and he starts to reach,
look out, sister look out
If he says you look fetchin'
and wants to go show you his etchin's,
don't go up there, you better not go up there.
And if he says you know you look good in a sweater,
go home and write him a leteer, hmm, hmmm,
you know what I mean.
And look here, if he buys you crocks of champagne,
take a train and go to Maine,
get outta town before it's too late.
If he says "Darlin' you look just like my mother",
go home and get your big brother
and have him snapped up.
Now what you gigglin' for?
Look here this ain't funny!
hee hee hee the devil!
You better pay attention to me now listen up,
don't listen to nobody but me now.
Don't listen to Big Moe, don't listen to Little Moe,
don't listen to no no, or No Moe whatever that childs
name is over near Nomax don't listen to eat Moe
don't listen to nobody but me alright.
If something happen to you this summer
you say I didn't tell you "alright",
now this is some knowledge I use myself,
I got this jive straight from the shelf
and it's known to be successful to a marked degree,
and baby I'm givin' it to you for free, alright!
Now if you wanna go for a ride in the car,
don't stay too long and don't go too far,
and if he syas "darlin, darlin, you know i feel so lucky",
go tell that man to catch a train to Kentucky.
And if he says you know, ooh baby baby,
you know you look groovy,
I think I'm gonna put you in a movie,
hey! he ain't no talent scout
he don't know what it's all about
and if he laughs at all your jokes
says your brand is all he smokes
he drinks nothing but cokes
he wants to meet your folks
don't believe him baby, it's a hoax, alright
tell him to get lost
coz he ain't nothing but a moose.
And if he says "Hey sugar, I'm on the square"
go home and leave him right there, leave him right there
and if he says "Hello baby, you look great,
I'm gonna take you on a date"
He ain't nothing but a fake
go tell him to go jump in the lake.
What you sitting up there gigglin' for?
you know you'd be surprised at what them men
are framin' up on doin' this summer
and if somethin' happened to you
you'd say I didn't tell you
so listen to what I'm tellin' you
look at what I'm puttin' down alright?
Here it is,
now if he buys you clothes
and nylon hose
and takes you round the nation
on a two week vacation
buys you diamond rings, mink coats and everything
and he's the mellow creature who wants
to see the preacher
well, you don't have to look out baby
take him home to momma
Look out
Now listen girls, don't tease him just squeeze him
because that's your main squeezy easy!