I am in love with the governess
She's played by a beautiful actress
Who looks so good in period dress
On Sundays on TV
She cares for the child of a titled squire
Who can't control his base desires
He'll beat his slaves when he retires
Out in the colonies
And it's not going to get any better
No it's not going to get any better
And it's just like Masterpiece Theatre
Since I met her, since I met the governess
She doesn't know who her parents are
But her father had a dueling scar
She takes the child down to the spa
They sit there are alone
They say her parents died at sea
Perhaps she comes from royalty
I hope she's not related to me
When the truth is finally known
And it's not going to get any better
No it's not going to get any better
And it's just like Masterpiece Theatre
Since I met her, since I met the governess
Do I love her? Course I do
She has much better lines than you
Do I need her? Read the script
She finds my note in her pillowslip
I offer my companionship
The scoundrel will never set her free
'Til her ward is married to some Marquis
Says he'll take his whip to me
If I don't stay away from her
The squire is played by Martin Sheen
But it's my cameo that steals the scene
As she gets dressed behind the screen
And We elope to America
And it's not gonna to get any better
No it's gonna get any better
Til it's just like masterpiece theatre
Til I get her, 'til I get the governess