Now there ain't a man who doesn't drink
And there ain't a man who doesn't think
That the stuff that he consumes is not the best
The cubans drink bacardi rum
Formaldehyde is drunk by some
They say that stuff will give you lots a rest
Now the navy likes torpedo juice
But i knew a gambler who'd produce
The best darn pack of gin that could be found
I drunk 'em all and so i know
From pink champagne to sniffin' snow
There's just one drink that has that gravy now
Closer, move my beer closer
My eyes are dim and i can hardly see
Why drink bourbon, scotch or wine
When beer is cheaper, twice as fine
Closer, closer, closer, move it closer
Now granddad was no drinkin' man
I don't want you to misunderstand
But he'd take a nip if someone had a shot
When the first snow fell and it was cold
For medicinal purposes i was told
Those tarries that he nicked sure hit the spot
But i've heard him say it a time or two
That if he had it all again to do
He would have bought a bar when he was just a pup
Then whenever he felt a chill or such
Or maybe he just wanted to slip his clutch
He would grab the stein and had 'em fill 'er up
Now kentucky brew, the brandy stuff
It looks like water but it's twice as rough
It makes you think that you been kicked by a mule
Of course women they drink most anything
From milk and tea till a hop-head-sling
I hear they drink their coffees hot or cool
Now wine is fine but i declare
Next morning with them buffels there
It makes it kinda hard to navigate
I like to ride with my head clear
So if you please, just one cold beer
That's something that i'd sure appreciate