Holding hindsight. Terrible decisions and blurred days.
Not a care at all back then of the man I'd be today.
I dug myself a hole, now the ground's too far to reach, so it seems.
I'm done living this life of contradiction.
It makes me scared to know that
I portray my life through words you've read.
And what good is your heart and the words that you say when you're dead?
(I have so much left to give.)
I'm wasting away.
Becoming the person I never wanted to be.
And I wont let these things dictate who I am.
(I'll be the person that you never had).
And what a world I've woke to.
All of you are so far I've been standing still.
Because I had it burning at both ends.
Burning at both ends for far too long.
They made me feel alive, they made me feel whole.
Now I'm nothing but alive and far from whole.
Walking down the wrong roads, time and time again.
I've put so much shit into myself, I don't know how I am standing.
I pushed myself from you all.
And I have no one else to blame but myself.
And this fucking empty shell that I am left with.
Lies, I've said.
I can't take them back, but I can start over.
Not sure if I'm proud of the life I've lead.
But I am still alive, so I can make a difference.
I can make this change.