September 1st, 1989.
Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person
Ya know, I think there's good in everyone, but here we are first day of senior year
I look around at all these kids I've known all my life and
I ask myself: What happened?
Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-Eyes! Poser! Lard Ass!
We were so tiny, happy and shiny, playing tag and getting chased
Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!
Singing and clapping
Laughing and napping
Baking cookies, eating paste
Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!
Then we got bigger
That was the trigger
Like the Huns invading Rome -
Sorry!
Welcome to my school
This ain't no high school
This is the Thunderdome
Hold your breath
And count the days
We're graduating soon
White trash
College will be paradise
If I'm not dead by June!
But I know, I know, life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray for a better way
If we changed back then
We could change again
We can be beautiful
Ow!
Just not today
Hey, are you okay?
Get away, nerd
Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!
Things will get better
Soon as my letter
Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown
Away from this coma
Take my diploma
Then I can blow this town
Dream of ivy-covered walls
And smoky French cafes
Watch it!
Fight the urge to strike a match and send this dump ablaze!
RAM
Oops
Ram Sweeney. Third year as linebacker
And eighth year of smacking lunch trays and BEING A HUGE DICK
What did you say to me skank?
Aaah... Nothing
But I know, I know, I know
Life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray
For a better way
We were kind before
We can be kind once more
We can be beautiful
Ah! Hey Martha
Hey
Martha Dumpstock. My best friend since diapers
Are we on for movie night?
Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail
I rented "The Princess Bride."
Wohoho, again? Wait don't you have it memorized by now?
What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending
Martha Dumptruck! Wide load! Honnnnnk!
Kurt Kelly. Quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team
Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf
Hey! Pick that up right now!
I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?
Yeah, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend?
You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant
You got a zip right there
Dear Diary
Why
Why do they hate me?
Why don't I fight back?
Why do I act like such a creep?
Why
Why won't he date me?
Why did I hit him?
Why do I cry myself to sleep?
Why
Students
Somebody help me!
Somebody fix me!
Somebody save me!
Send me a sign, God!
Give me some cold beer!
Something to live for!
Ah!... Heather, Heather, and Heather!
And then there's the Heathers. They float above it all
I love Heather, Heather, and Heather
Heather McNamara. Head cheerleader. Her dad is loaded - he sells engagement rings
I want Heather, Heather, and Heather!
Heather Duke. Runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants
I need Heather, Heather, and Heather!
And Heather Chandler. The Almighty
She is a mythic bitch. They are solid Teflon - never bothered, never harassed
I would give anything to be like that
I'd like to be their boyfriend
That would be beautiful
If I sat at their table, guys would notice me
So beautiful
I'd like them to be nicer
That would be beautiful
I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse
and leave her tied up for the rats!
Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87
Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather
Yeah, Heather. Maybe I should
Ah, Heather and Heather ...and Heather
Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class
Heather wasn't feeling well. We're helping her
Not without a hall pass you're not. A week's detention
Actually, Miss. Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee
I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going
This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?
Veronica... Sawyer. I crave a boon
What boon?
Let me sit at your table at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary
If people think you guys tolerate me, they'll leave me alone
Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes
How about prescriptions?
Shut up, Heather
Sorry, Heather
For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure
And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull
I'd have matching halves. That's very important
Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds
And ya know, ya know, ya know?
This could be beautiful
Mascara, maybe some lip gloss
and we're on our way
Get this girl some blush
And Heather, I need your brush
Let's make her beautiful
Let's make her beautiful
Let's make her beautiful
Make her beautiful
Okay?
Okay!
Out of my way geek!
I don't want any trouble -
You're gonna die at 3pm!
Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!
What'd I ever do to them?
Who could survive this?
I can't escape this!
I think I'm dying!
Who's that with Heather?
Whoa. Heather, Heather, Heather
And... someone!
Heather, Heather, Heather
And a babe!
Heather, Heather, Heather
Veronica?!
Veronica, Veronica, Veronica
And ya know
Ya know, ya know
Life can be beautiful
You hope, you dream, you pray
And you get your way!
Ask me how it feels
Looking like hell on wheels
My God, it's beautiful!
I might be beautiful
And when you're beautiful
It's a beautiful frickin' day!