Epic Rap Battles of History - Dr Seuss vs Shakespeare Тексты

Shakespeare:
Come bite my thumb
I hope you know the stakes
I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades
then ask what light through yonder poser breaks?
I hath been iambic on that ass ye bastard
My rhymes are classic, your crap is drafted by kindergartner high on acid ye hoebag
You're an old white Soulja Boy who has no swag and no gonads egads it's so sad
and to top it off you're not a doctor
I've never seen a softer author you crook. you
I bet you wrote the 'Twilight" books too

Dr Seuss (Cat In The Hat)
I would not could not on a boat read any of the boring ass plays you wrote
Even Horton doesn't want to hear you and Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you
You bore people to death, you leave a classroom lookin' like the end of MacBeth
I entertain a child of any age
You gotta translate what you say on the opposite page
How you gonna battle with the Cat In The Hat?
Little kids get scared when I step on the mat, you think your ruffled neck ass gonna rap to that?
I got a best selling book about me coming back

Shakespeare
I'm switching up my style like the Beatles with my pieces each is a wonder with a plethora of features
You're pathetically predictable you think your new book might include a trisyllabic meter and some ghetto Muppet creatures the Bard is in the building it's a castle, I'm a boss I bet I'm Parliament I'm positive I'm killing it
I'm iller than the plague I never caught or cholera a baller baller on some cricket bowler business while you're sitting in the bleachers

Dr Seuss (Cat In The Hat)
You rap fast you do, yes you rap fast its true
Now lets see how you rap versus Things 1 and 2
(Things 1 and 2)
Oh. No.
We'll smash your globe
yo. you may have wrote the script but now we running the show
You can take your fancy words and send'em back home to your mama break our foot off in your ass with our feetie pajamas
Man we'll cook you up and eat you with some ham and green eggs, we'll break offa your legs make no mistakes we in a rage
All does not end well when we bust out our cage you getting upstaged Bill.
Yo. you just got played!