Catch me if you can but you ain't man enough,
You're standin' tough
But you know that no matter what
You'll never get the chance to touch
My ballz, ballz, ballz x2
You'll never touch my ballz
I see you ain't a playa, you ain't ballin'
And I don't even care who the hell you call in
In this game, it ain't no talkin'
You can get it started, I nail the coffin
And all I here is "get your man up off him"
So why I gotta stop it, this nigga was talkin'
And I ain't gotta prove you nothin'
I do it and you ain't gotta push my buttons
This dude in front of me, he weighs a brick
He's quick and I can't get Marshall hit
So I played my position and don't make a move
Been doin' this for years, my team can't lose
And ain't nobody, ain't nobody hard
9 o'clock, I'm gonna punch me a guard
Hut one, hut two, I'm ready
Hike, give the ball to Nelly
And nobody out there feels me
Take this 'fore you have to kill me
And any player in my way, I'm foldin'
Damn it, called holdin'
Football, Football, I love football
Yes, tres, dos, uno
Dos, tres, fuck, shit, bitch, asshole son of a bitch
Everybody cuddle, blah I mean huddle
I just stepped in a mud puddle, butthole
Freak, who just tapped on my ass cheek
Nevermind, let's try quarterback sneak
Cover me, smother me with love that's brotherly
That didn't work, try another play
Hut one, hut two, hut hut hurry up
I'm reachin' up another grown man's butt
Hike the ball, I mean I like Bizarre
But Jesus yikes, I think I can feel his balls
My dick is long as it is hard, yeah so are my balls
It's the longest yard, whoops that's not the chorus
Run it back, wrong song, yeah disreguard
That whole statement I just made, what yard line we on?
Our on 5 and our timeouts are gone
Less than a minute left, I just throw my ball
Down the sideline to Von, he steps outta bounds
48 seconds left on the clock but every last one counts
Call another huddle, we're down by six
The plan is, to throw the ball to Swift
But he's so god dang high, that he trips
Falls and slips, Proof grabs him by his fingertips
And runs the ball all the way down to the one
But he don't get in, but all we need is a put ???
But all we need is a touch down and an extra point to win
But then I get sacked all the way back to the ten
God dammit I'ma slap somebody if I get tapped on the ass again
Everybody's laughin' now, no timeouts and its now fourth down
We're never gonna make it, wait I just got an idea
Quick, everybody get naked, Denaun go long
I'ma throw the bomb, c'mon how they gonna tackle you wit no pants on
Ass out with a floppin' schlong, touch down yeah I told you....
It's the longest yard
The new face on the yard, just hand me the ball
I'ma run through all of ya'll, ya'll just soft
Even though my cleats is kickin' up mud
It's more traction for me, I'm stiff armin' punks
High steppin' through the end zone
I been gone, I'm so dirty you don't even know my skin tone
It's time to rumble, no time to fumble
And I won't stumble, your frontline will tumble
Playin' ball with killas, my team's gorillas
Three time offenders, even drug dealers
One of the best runnin' backs there never was
Movin' like Barry Sanders, leavin' you in the dust
Yack is high, I got the highest yack
Hit the ground so hard I leave tire tracks
Bizarre snaps like a fire crack
And my palm more stickier than spider back
Eyin' my eye, a Mack Truck tryin to sack us
No matter how big they flyin' backwards
Wide reciever, recievin' wide
For every stride in my life, I breathe and die
Defense is playin' a pass
Then the quarterback peeps and screams
That means that its time for me
To run out the back like a bat straight outta hell
My tracks burn turf when they excell
I try to lateral pass the ball to Proof
He got dropped and the ball came loose
And shot up like a flare, I gave the ball a stare
And use my lineman's shoulder as a chair
Now I'm flyin' through the air like a superhero
I can use this pose for a box of cereal
I'm no joke punk, I get my dinerio
For bein' the best player on my team what
As soon as I hear the hut 1, 2, hut
I do one run, run, the screen go run run
Then I cut, spin around in the endzone
Then I do the ninety shuffle so