I met her at the 'Sailor Arms'
A bar down by the docks
Full of prostitutes and deviants
And fellows wearing frocks
Went there to drown my sorrow
My misery and paaaiiiiaaaiiiiaan
With fourteen multicoloured pills
And a pint of heavy ale
(heavy ale)
And I saw this girl across the way
Who was smiling through the wine
So I begged her come on over
Come on over, spend some time
And I spilled my life before her
And she seemed to understand
Although she was a girl
We were talking man to man
(man to man)
For love is where you find it
Wherever that may be
For me it was in the Sailors Arms
At twenty-five past three
There's something strange about her
I can't put my finger on
But I wanna tell the world
That she's the one
(she's the one)
I wanna tell the world
That she's the one
She strolled up to the toilets
She strolled into the Gents
I asked her why she did it
Why she'd gone to pay the rent
We arm-wrestled and I lost
She beat me with a spike
Told me filthy jokes
That were quite unlady-like
(lady-like)
It was four in the morning
And through the smokey haze
I could've been mistaken
But she needed to shave
(to shave)
For love is where you find it
Wherever that may be
For me it was in the Sailors Arms
With a better man than me
Her husky voice seduced me
My heart was in a mess
I sat upon her knee
As something twitched beneath her dress
There's something more than knees beneath her dress
You've got nice eyes says I
(Oh Sir, I am suprised)
What large hands I said
(All the better to touch you with)
God, you arms look strong
(A woman's work is never done)
Your legs are quite hirsuite
(Aren't you the saucy one!)
I was feeling less than stable
When she said her name was Ken
(Ken!)
Well if I had suspicions
Lord I should've had 'em then
(then!)
She cried as she told me
How she was so confused
One more visit to the doctor
She'd have nothing left to lose
(Toulouse-Lautrec)
I ran my fingers through her wig
She lightly stroked my hair
She said she was a man
(Whoa whoa! She said she was a man?
A man called Ken - Bull-twang!)
Lots of men are called Ken.
(So what did you say?)
I told her I don't care
(He doesn't care)
For love is where you find it
Wherever that may be
For me it was in a hopper bin
With my trousers 'round my knees
There's something strange about her
I just put my finger on
And I want to tell the world
That she's the one
(he's the one)
I want to tell the world
That its the one.