I've been good for weeks now
I tell you I'm in control
I've got my shit together
I know when I should fold
It's just tonight
Nothing at all to fear
You'll be with me all the time
It's not like I could run off anywhere
I go right home
But I won't be alone
A thousand in cash
And a mobile phone
Don't know how to stop
I sure can't tell you when
I am lost in that whirlpool again
Don't think I'll ever stop
Can't see a reason why
Only dying makes me feel alive
It's that constant burden
Of trying to make it bearable
When my life is so fucked up
And so far from repairable
That makes me look
For that final nail for my coffin
It's way past midnight
But I find hundres in the nothing
(The same lies I've told everybody including myself a hundred times)
I go right home
But I won't be alone
A thousand in cash
And a mobile phone
Don't know how I'll stop
I sure can't tell you when
I am lost in that whirlpool again
Don't think I'll ever stop
Can't see a reason why
Only dying makes me feel alive
Wide awake, I never went to bed
Naked by the window and the sun is pissing red
My hands look rusty, guess my nose has bled
Then I remember what my father said
Don't know how I'll stop
I sure can't tell you when
I am lost in that whirlpool again
Don't think 'll ever stop
Can't see a reason why
Only dying makes me feel alive