I drink White Lightnin' when the coyotes are out
But them goddamned coyotes won't leave me alone
Mamma said son, "You know drinking is bad."
But she had to get drunk to have sex with my Dad
Glifton, he loves to beat his wife
Thank Christ he married Old Granddad on ice
Mr. Barteneder don't be so slow
I got time for another and a six pack to go
If drinkin's a sin, the devil's my friend
So give me a shot of what's left of the gin
I built my house out of beer bottles
But I drank too much whiskey, now it's all broken glass
I went to Tucson to see my old lady
She didn't have a nose so I drove back home
I don't need housing and I don't need women
I just need a bottle that I can crawl in
Give me a bourbon or give me a beer
I'd listen to your story but I cut off my ear
If drinkin's a sin, the devil's my friend
So give me a shot of what's left of the gin
My wife got pregnant with a bottle of a Schnapps
The nurse and the doctors, they all called the cops
When they got there, we partied 'till dawn
I named that bottle Paul, Peter, and John
I had my first drink at the age of 3
I picked a bottle from the whiskey tree
I grabbed it and I drank it and I got real drunk
I learned how to cry and I learned how to fuck
If drinkin's a sin, the devil's my friend
So give me a shot of what's left of the gin