As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: "Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk
You're drunk, you silly old fool
Still you can not see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me."
"It's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before."
And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
So I called me wife and I said to her: "Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk
You're drunk, you silly old fool
Still you can not see
That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me."
"It's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before."
As I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
So I called his wife and I said to her: "Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk
You're drunk, you silly old fool
Still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me."
"It's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before."
And as I came home on a Thursday? Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I-I-I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I says to her: "Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk
You're drunk, you silly old fool
Still you can not see
They're two lovely geranium pots me mother sent to me."
"Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces in geranium pots I never saw before."
Well, as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my bald head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: "Would you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk
You're drunk, you silly old fool
Still you can not see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me."
"Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before."
"Ah, you're drunk
You're drunk, you silly old fool
Still you can not see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me."
"Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before."
"But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before."