24 hours in the same place
Told 'em I need me a vaca'
I never get 'round to the vaca'
Bank statements making me lazy
Every day payday
I stopped eating meat in '18 still I got a full plate
Ya never know when a beef can go off
I didn't wanna show off but when you're the first in
I need their hearts to beat when they see me in person
They can't drink from my table if they're not putting the work in
She was at home in bed, I'm busy flirting
Weekends, I've got the weekdays merging, I swear
I'm just tryna keep waves in my hair, I
Wanna make 'em record or hold their torch in the air, why?
'Cause I feel alive when it all lights up
Let my enemies know that I don't give a fuck
When I swore to myself that I'd never look down when I first climbed
I've done well for an ex gang member
And I've done bits and bobs
Just like what Montana done to Rebenga
I'm one of the last ones standing
Everyone's dead or in jail now
And I've got trauma that creeps up on me
That I try not to remember
I was born in December, five days before Christmas day
Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past
Didn't wanna blind him so I kept my wrist tilted this way
I'm not afraid to drop to my knees and pray
'Cause I never thought that I'd overcome this pain
I was born in December, five days before Christmas day
Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past
Didn't wanna blind him so I kept my wrist tilted this way
I'm not afraid to drop to my knees and pray
'Cause I never thought that I'd overcome this pain
Yo, I've been studying psychology
'Cause I didn't wanna go and see a psychiatrist
Thank God she accepted my apology
'Cause I don't even think I could do none of this
From day one, she proven herself
Back when I couldn't get shoes off the shelf
Back when I couldn't even get into the club
Didn't pop bottles, never have Louis on my belt
I'm ready to make a commitment
I've got trainers coming on a shipment
I've got an M in one account and an M that I put into the crib, are you listening?
Me and these rappers are different 'cause most of these rappers chat fiction
Me, I'm just telling a story, the type that will go down in history
This is December I told 'em I needed a choir
Plus I'm thinking out loud so I'm gonna need quiet
I hope that I made 'em proud but I bet they deny it
I been practicing patience, let me apply it
I haven't been posting, I've not been replying
There's a lot of moving parts so I needed some time
I already believe, I don't need a sign
I already know the reason I shine
Was looking for symptoms online
Emotional instability, impulsive behaviour
Rage, sorrow, borderline personality
It's a disorder but it's important
'Cause without that I just blend in
I'm just brave enough to say it out loud, I'm not unpretending
When I was on road, they say I was mad
And that was cuckoo, he had to be bad
Now that I'm famous, I've had to change the way that I think
And the way that I act
Emotionally switched off, I'm only just fixing it now
I've gotta thank my girl for sticking around and holding me up
'Cause I coulda drowned and never again will I let her down
Responsibility comes with a crown and that's why I always frown
It was my job to build a bridge all the way from the North over to the South
And when they take shots I watch it bounce off my body armour
I'm Marcus Aurelius, Julius Caesar, used to suffer with seizures
I guess everyone's vulnerable, it's what you do with the struggle though
Can't believe I've got trainers in JD but I used to be criminal
29 years in December but this one is a miracle
I've done well for an ex gang member
And I've done bits and bobs
Just like what Montana done to Rebenga
I'm one of the last ones standing
Everyone's dead or in jail now
And I've got trauma that creeps up on me
That I try not to remember
I was born in December, five days before Christmas day
Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past
Didn't wanna blind him so I kept my wrist tilted this way
I'm not afraid to drop to my knees and pray
'Cause I never thought that I'd overcome this pain
I was born in December, five days before Christmas day
Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past
Didn't wanna blind him so I kept my wrist tilted this way
I'm not afraid to drop to my knees and pray
'Cause I never thought that I'd overcome this pain