Thanksgiving dinner with my family
mother says grace, dad says let's eat
the table is sad and it's fed for a king
as we all brace for mother's first zing
mother asks brother are you still unemployed
now his wife Patty's become quite annoyed
dad pulls out a flask as his eyes starts to twitch
that's when Patty calls mother a bitch
sister speaks up and says god please don't fight
so mom turns to her looks straight in her eye
says you've got four children by five different men
when you figure that out, then you can chime in
dad stands straight up waving his empty flask
yells don't pick on my girl the he falls on his ass
mama starts crying and then screams aloud
you drove him to drink i hope you're all proud
the turkey gets up and it dances ajeng
mom's got a tail dad's wearing a wig
then i see it all...
i'll never take acid again
cousin Paul's fantom girlfriend couldn't make it this year
mom says: give it up Paul we all know you're queer
my mean aunt Bernice is now wearing a grin
guess the antidepressants kicked in
now grandma is wandering out in the street
she is butt naked from her head to her feet
she's directing traffic and clearly messed up
if i had to guess, i'll bet she drank from my car
we get in our cars at the end of the day
freedom's at hand as we all drive away
we let out a sigh but before we can leave
mom shouts from the porch: i'll see you all christmas eve