We got a little old lady with a poodle on a leashe
And she's trying to get across the street
She's walking 'round all crooked-like
And she's looking pretty feeble and petite
I'm kinda thinking that the thing to do here
Is that whole good samaratan shtick
But I know what she's up to though
I'm not falling for THAT OLD TRICK!
Cause things aren't always what they seem
In this mixed up world of ours
And you know that little lady
Is actually an alien assasin from Mars
She's trying to use my altruistic nature
To get me in her clutch
Well guess what, you're on your own there Granny
Look out for that Greyhound Bus!
Everybody's trying to kill me
It's me against everybody else
I'm obviously important enough
To be the target of a top secret government snuff
I can't trust anybody else, can't you see?
It's everybody versus me
For instance...
There's this guy who lives across the street
Who everybody seems to trust
He goes to work, he pays his dues
He looks innocent enough
But as he's out giving food to the poor
And raising money for the children's choir
I'll be teaching his kids to swear
And setting his HOUSE ON FIRE!
Cause it's so apparant
He's a mind-controlling demon
And if he thinks I'm his marionette
Well he's obviously dreaming
It takes a certian intuitive nature
To see how all this works
The doctors call it a "chemical imbalance"
WHAT A BUNCH OF JERKS!
Everybody's trying to kill me
I fight this war all by myself
There's evil members of an alien race
Who are constantly invading our interplanetary space
If you're not with me
You're against me can't you see?
It's everybody versus me
Whoa, I'm listening to the voices here
Whoa, I gotta concentate so I can hear
I said I'm listening to the voices
And they're telling me to dissappear
Oh yeah
I said the voices keep telling me I gotta get outta here
There's these people I've been living with
For quite a big old while
They keep showing me these doctored pics
Of them walking down the aisle
And they keep on trying to make me
Call them Mom and Dad
I let them think they've got me fooled
It's really kind of sad
Cause they think that I don't know
That the KGB is creeping
Right around the corner
Then they'll kill me while I'm sleeping
But I've got it all under control
Using sophisticated techniques
Think it's easy?
You try staying up for 14 SOLID WEEKS!
HA HA HA
Everybody's trying to kill me
You couldn't possibly understand
The other day I got an insect bite
That looks awfully suspicious
Under ultraviolet light
If I don't make it tell my story
Make them see...
It's everybody versus me
Whoa
It's everybody versus me
It's everybody versus me
It's everybody versus me
It's everybody versus me
It's everybody...