I know a boy, he's got
Mother tattoed on his shoulder
Seen him on TV, but
Then he's very much older
I know his name and I know his address
The number of his extension
I've got a picture of him in a dress
Looking after my pension
He's got a girl he likes
One day a week and one hour
Goes up into her room
Comes out needing a shower
I know his name and I know his address
The number of his extension
I've got a picture of him in a dress
Looking after my pension
Young boy in a bowler hat
Pinstripe suit and no
Muscle underneath his fat
Seen it on the video
Old man in his judges robes
Black cap, gavel, and no
Underpants upon his globes
Oh, one hundred years ago
I think I would have been inventing
Ways to swallow up the soul
And writing plays with happy endings
When I am old and grey
Many years from now, boy
Will you still love to play
With all my friends and all their toys
I know your name and I know your address
The number of your extension
I've got a picture of you in a dress
Looking after my pension
Young boy in a sailor suit
Two stripes, medal and star
More stripes coming in high-heeled boots
Caught it on the camera
Old man in the red-haired wig
Tank top, stocking, and pink rah-rah
Legs are skinny and feet are big
Oh, one hundred years ago
I think I would have been inventing
Ways to swallow up the soul
And writing plays with happy endings