Before I looked to you as something I adored.
An inch out of my reach beyond my form.
You were an object to me, you held my gaze.
The person I was once has me amazed
So in my head I whispered words, empty now
Not yours, not ever, no way, no how.
I do believe yes, looking back
that you have always, always, known.
Yes, I wanted of you. Yes, I longed to touch you.
Yes, I slept drained of you. Yes, I never had you.
Yes, I've grown beyond you. Yes, I've gone and lived without you.
Yes, I've thought about you. Yes, I've learned to hate you.
Now, I realize you. Now, I stand above you.
Now, I can despise you, and all others like you.
Once, I would have loved you. Done anything for you.
Held, touched, cared, forever fucked you.
Now the thought makes me abhor you.
You've done nothing for me. Tears were never shed for me.
Still I know you knew it silently took more of me
You'll never touch me. You'll never taste me.
No matter how you want me. You mean nothing to me.
I see red and taste your smile, bile-like spitting choked defiled
memories now so maddening innocent, embarrassing.
Now you're nothing and I know, as I look to you below,
is my laughter not enough to show you how extremely you're fucked up.