How dry I am, how dry I am
It's plain to see just why I am
No alcohol in my highball
And that is why so dry I am
Waiter, Waiter
What do you want? What do you want?
I'm just as thirsty as can be
What'll you have? What'll you have?
Suggest a little drink for me
Of the very finest soft drinks we have all the best
I don't know a thing about them
What would you suggest?
Have a little Coca-Cola
Really, it's a lovely drink
Percy, Clarence, Reginald, too
They will recommend it to you
Have a little Coca-Cola
It's the very best I think
It isn't alcoholic but you can have a frolic
If you take enough to drink
They are much too dry
Then how'd you like to try
Sarsaparilla, try sarsaparilla
Sarsaparilla ought to do
Rockefeller drinks sarsaparilla
And what's good enough for Rockefeller
Is good enough for you
Go and tell John D
His drink won't do for me
Then have a little glass of grape juice
It's the only drink to buy
Really, it's fine, simply divine
It's recommended by William J. Bryan
Eve'rybody's drinking grape juice
Ever since the town went dry
I've heard them tell, sir
That grape juice and seltzer
Is just the little drink to try
That won't do, I'm afraid
Then try some lemonade
A little lemon, a little sugar
A little vichy and a straw
Makes the very nicest little drink you ever saw
You ought to buy one, come on and try one
For it's the finest drink that's made
Drinks like this'll wet your whistle
Have a glass of lemonade
That won't do I fear
I'd like a glass of beer
Then have some Bevo
Have a drink of Bevo
It's the grandest imitation that we know
If you care for beer, it's the drink you should pick
It tastes like lager but it hasn't got the kick
Bevo, have a drink of Bevo
Though it hasn't got a punch up it's sleeve-o
Those who drink it insist that a Christian Scientist
Could easily come staggering home on Bevo
How dry I am, how dry I am
It's plain to see just why I am
Oh, how I call for alcohol
And that is why so dry I am
I hear you calling me
I am the Spirit of Alcohol
For let me assure you one and all
I'm not dead, I'm only asleep
Some day I'll come back to you
We hope you do, we hope you do
When your laws are not so blue
We hope you do, we hope you do
When you give Prohibition your shoe
You bet your life we'll kick it
Because it's very wicked
Say to Mister Temperance you're through
That's what we'll do, that's what we'll do
I'll come back someday
With a hip, hip hooray
Until I do, I'll give to you
A little cocktail that is new