Can you feel the weight of emptiness
Crashing down the mortal coils of always
Tearing down the frail link between what you strive for
And what you must endure in your everyday life
Breaking the whole of your conceptions
Leaving you shattered and divided
Everything stands still and hope subsides
Another anchor point has been disabled today…
Everything which used to distract my mind off the void of existence
Was tore down and trampled, as I watched this fragile structure brought to dust
Which was unconsciously being built behind my back
By the need we all have, to reduce the time between brutal events
Which force yourself to stop your actions
And look at your life, as being dispirited and watching
Your evolution at a third person view, without any consolation, pride of achievement,
or highlights of nostalgic events.
Just witnessing your empty self, pouring another piece of joy
Feeling the balance of the self, reverting one step back in negativity
Wondering where the fuck you still harvest the strength
To get up every countless mornings
To feed off illusions of fulfillment, growing closer to Ether…
I don't think you really understand how I feel
I'm daily wondering how it would feel to throw myself in front of a car
Or disfiguring a random person
I'm so fucking tired of this life.
If you know me and care about me
Please heal me once and for all, with a shotgun blast in the head
I'm too weak to do it myself; it unfortunately seems there's no alternate route
But something within just stopped to bleed
A cute girl smiled and waved at me
How futile can humanity be sometimes, will never cease to amaze me
The ability we have to alternate from a state of complete existential turmoil
And revert back to a state, where animal instincts
Annihilates the need of the mind to free itself
From recurrent negative patterns that will always resurface
The minute every distraction fades away
That is my vision of hope:
An exhausting primal instinct forcing our subconscious
To believe that our life is worth living