I've got a bitter pot of je ne sais quoi
Guess what--I'm stirring it with a monkey's paw
Since I saw you coming out of my barber's shop
In that skimpy little halter top
Did you light the candles? Did you put on "Kind of Blue?"
Did you use that Ivy League voodoo on him, too?
He thinks he'll be alright but he doesn't know for sure
Like every other unindicted coconspirator
Mata Hari had a house in France
Where she worked on all her secret plans
Men were falling for her sight unseen
She was a genius
There's a a face in every window of the Songwriters' Neighborhood
Everybody's your best friend when you're doing well--I mean good
The poet who lived next door when you were young and poor
Grew up to be a backstabbing entrepreneur
Albert Einstein was a ladies' man
While he was working on his universal plan
He was making out like Charlie Sheen
He was a genius
When you dropped me and you staked your claim
On a V.I.P. who could make your name
You latched on to him and I became
A minor inconvenience
Your prot