Beautiful and innocent, suitable and militant
Are scripted on the walls of the cubicle i'm living in
I'm different, if you take away that i'm gone
A heart on my sleeve, with a razorblade jacket on
In babylon i would hold my breath and listen close
To the ghosts of death the ocean kept when the winter froze
Skin and bones, is what my burly bag of flesh will hold
Digesting hope with another thirty pack as lexapro
Discomposed, from all the fuckin' ghosts that follow me
Across a battered path of shattered glass and broken arteries
It's oceanography the way the blood accumulates
I'm rude awake, with one eye open like homer's odyssey
And honestly, i don't need to make a difference
I just want to live my life without a fee to pay admission
Apathetic bliss in these apathetic days
Cuz i'm apathetic mixed with the pass aggressive ways
Anesthetic sprays from my tongue 'til the pain stops
I'm trying to figure out if this is blood or the raindrops
Love or a safe spot, think twice
While i take another shot until the angels start to sing like...
I've got a bone to pick with all these skeletons in closets
They're breaking down the barriers, embellishing my losses
And under all the verses, i wonder if it's worth it
And whether it's irrelevant, the elements are constant
No sleep and apparently a pen
Is the perfect combination for the therapy again
So i scribble in a pad 'til it carries me within
All the ripples in my past that i carefully attend
When all i got to do is take a look into my pedigree
And mentally amenities will make another memory
The penalties are lending me a bitter loss of energy
A destiny of inhibition until my wings will set me free, now
No time for regrets, keep moving forward and hope for the best
Its all gone, i'll say so long and never let go of what i hold in my chest
This is dedicated to the dedication left behind
Me, a dedicated mental patient on a bed of knives
I meant to find a certain person worthy of current purpose
Searching through the epitaphs to make the dead alive
And edify as i watch all the faces walking by
Painted with perplexing looks, abrasions and awkward eyes
Showing me to modify broken wings i've taught to fly
Often i go and dream of a place across the sky
Where i reside and dark breaks the light
Never stop moving, a sharks way of life
Set still as sparks drape the sky
And debt builds, a heart pays the price with
Love, pain, sun, rain, (i remember when my mother used to lie to me)
Hate, grace, blood stains (and i remember when my father used to lie to me)
Life, death, time, rest, (and i remember when my teachers used to lie to me)
This is my breath (and then they wonder why i have no faith in this society)
I can't find stability i lack the right ability
To act inside humility and magnify the will in me
Every time i try to be, satisfy or feel at ease
I'd rather be an actor and to act than try to deal with things
Until i fall and i hit the rock bottom
And i grieve with the leaves 'til i pray its not autumn
The blood starts to draw and it falls from the wrists
When the slits are across and i ball up a fists
So call it a gift but i'm not living for the present
When it all becomes the past and i can't listen to the questions
Isn't it a blessing when i feel like i'm alive
And i don't have to be another fucking cynic for a second
Even though i've never called it perfect
When i die, i want to know it all was worth it
I want to know that i tried my best with
Embracing every moment that i was blessed with
Every life, every death, every time that i wept
Every moment, every person, every line that i said
Every night, every day, every time every place
Every kiss, every wish, every side of the maze
Every cut, every bruise, every love that i'd lose
Every time that i broke and the times that i grew
Every drop of rain that these clouds would spew
To help form the man that i amounted to
And i'm thankful, that i am who i am
And i've been where i've been and i came out grateful
When it's finally time to make an exit
Just know, that i don't regret a single second