Rhett and Link - Tough Decisions (A Whale is gonna die) Lyrics

Paper or Plastic
Presents itself as a decision with an obvious answer
you pick paper because the plastic will end up in the ocean
giving a whale cancer
But did you know
that the paper in this bag is made from the prickly pecker wood tree
which happens to be
the residency of the dwarf wing beaver bee
and when the dwarf wing beaver bees
no longer have homes in which to go
then I think you should know
that they have been known to reconstruct their hives
right inside of those same whale's blowholes
so you can weigh
all these factors before you choose to decide
but either way, know this
a whale is gonna die
no matter what you choose
a whale is gonna die
no matter what you do
a whale is gonna die
Dine in or take out
an inconsequential question
at the fast food restaurant
so you take it to go
then on the way home
you know you start to smelling
those french fries
so you reach in the bag
and take your eyes off the road
and drive straight off a bridge
and who knows what is in the water below
so you should have dined in
but if you dine in
you decide to shake the salt on those fries
with the shaker that the previous guy
coughed on and then you rub your eyes
oh no.
the next morning you wake up
with a wicked face itch
you drive to urgent care
your eyes swell shut
then you drive off the very same bridge
from when you didn't dine in
and did I mention
both times you hit a whale
a whale is gonna die
no matter what you choose
a whale is gonna die
no matter what you do
a whale is gonna die
it's gonna be ok
except in the case your'e a whale
a whale is gonna die