Lifeguards - What Am I? Lyrics

I woke up this morning
just to see what I'd become

oh what am I
oh what am I

looked up at my reflection
told it 'get off of my thumb'
oh what am I
"Hi, I'm a fly"
"A big, nasty hairy fucker"
"wiping shit off my legs right now"

"Well the initial shock won't last long" said the doctor
as he looked me in the eyes
and the ensuing disgust with everything
and self loathing will just be part of your new disguise
what am I...
what am I?
what am I?
what am I?
I walked into space or maybe well, well, well below
saw into the past, when life was but a gas

waving at the astronauts
I was cracking my meat, taking the heat
they said, "be all you can be"
and exactly what is that?
what am I?

I'm a racehorse on a golf course
I'm a priest with a love ranch
can tighten the harness
snug as a wig worm
quick as a whistle
soft as a pom-pom
I don't know

you know life is what you build
in how much time that you can cram
point me in the right direction
tell me what I am

what am I?
ooo what am I?
what am I?
what am I?
what am I?
what am I?
ooooo what am I?
what am I?
yeah! what am I?
hey! what am I?
what am I! (repeated until end)
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