Fifteen red-eyed jugglers
Flew in from parts unknown;
Shared seats with ten smugglers,
Five pirates, and a gnome.
Thirty-one crude cutthroats
All with a single aim:
Sink anything that floats;
Leave this world in flames.
Hell was filled
So I came back.
Aren't you thrilled?
Have a heart attack.
Do you wanna
Tell me
Where to go again?
This time make it
Someplace I haven't been.
The jugglers just finished
Checking the Wall Street books.
One thing was established -
They're all liars and crooks.
The smugglers need more space
For their slaves and their drugs.
It could be any place
Where the law allows thugs.
Hell was filled
So I came back.
Aren't you thrilled?
Have a heart attack.
Do you wanna
Tell me
Where to go again?
This time make it
Someplace I haven't been.
The pirates want a piece
Of each ship on the sea.
Their leader's named Bernice,
And he's making eyes at me.
The gnome just came back from
An all-night tea party.
He's looking pale 'n' glum,
Still sippin' his Bacardi.
Hell was filled
So I came back.
Aren't you thrilled?
Have a heart attack.
Do you wanna
Tell me
Where to go again?
This time make it
Someplace I haven't been.
Fifteen red-eyed jugglers,
Five pirates, ten smugglers,
And one Alaskan gnome
Juneau there's a joke in there somewhere,
Wrapped up in redneck chrome.